21/08/2024
I have a website!, its been about a month and ive just kinda left this thing alone until today. ive decided i wanna make something, while also keeping a kind of diary i guess. but yeah thats it for now.
24/08/2024
Wow, last night was amazing. So i have this friend and me and her have known each other since pre kindy which is cool as lol. anyway she had recently turned 18 so she had invited me over to drink a couple, watch some horror movies and hang out. Anyway her family was so nice! Even though weve known each other for so long ive never really talked to her family that much but they were so cool and kind. anyway me and her got some burgers from this store down the road and came back and started drinking, and it was just fun. We sat down, and we watched "Evil Dead Rise" which by the way, sucks so hard like holy man. "Mommies with the magots now" Like ughhh shut up. anyway after the movie ended we were like a couple drinks in and decently drunk, she was stumbling and i was having slurred and repetive speech but we werent like fully out drunk, then we watched some superwog to heal from that absolute dogshit horror movie. We were pretty tired after that so we just lay down, i dont have netflix so i was just scrolling through what it had and saw shaun of the dead and i asked if she wanted to watch that she was pretty tired but just said that i could so we lied down and put it on. And drunk me put my arm around her, holding her, and like, she kind of held onto her arm with hers (at least i think so, it was pretty tight in there). And wow, it just felt nice. As the movie went on we kinda just lay there together until she fell asleep. I ended up turning off the movie because i didnt want to wake her or startle her ig. But it was just so nice, I felt happy. and she would move around while asleep and her body got closer to mine and it was so nice and warm. I eventually fell asleep as well, i woke up in the middle of the night and my arm was out though so i dont know what happend. i put my arm over her a couple more times but i felt like i was disturbing her sleep so i just slept to the side.
I cant explain the feeling though, its just so nice to hold someone. I dont like her in any romantic way i still see us as friends, its just purely this feeling of being close to someone that was nice. And i feel this sort of sadness today cause i know that i cant do it again, and ill i have to hold, are my pillows. As sad as that is. And now its the day after im having this kind of weird interntal breakdown. I wanna hold someone, i wanna be held, i want a genuine relationship but i dont know where to start. Im just sitting in my room, listening to music like Alex g and Her's and its definitly making it worse lol, but it is what it is.Ill get it someday
Anyway, thats about it for now, thanks for reading if you did :) im gonna try and keep this as like a diary i guess. Seya next time.